Preparing for a mission trip

When I woke up this morning, the first thing on my mind
was that tomorrow I am leaving for a mission trip.
It's the first one in a long time.

The last mission trip I went on was back in 2002,
with baby Eva in tow.  We went to Kentucky with the youth from my congregation.

Tomorrow I leave with pre-teen Eva 
and a few other members of my congregation.

I have been oscillating between deep grief and tolerable grief since
my brother died a little over a month ago.
At times I feel like I am moving through jello, in slow motion, not really
able to see very clearly or hear very well.
Touched at times that people give me their condolences and at other times
heart broken that they mention it because I know that it will take
everything within me to keep from crying and going back
to the place of moving through jello.

So this morning I thought about the number of years that my brother
spent in Nicaragua with orphaned children and I know that he
would want me to go and help out people in Oklahoma.

I got up with a new perspective, hoping that it would work. 

You see we have this fablous time planned for my family after 
the mission trip.  But I just can't seem to get into any state
of planning or preparation.  It's like just breathing and getting
through the day is all I can handle.

Then something changed.
The minute I got on the highway, driving the rental van
we have for the mission trip.  I got excited!

Eva and I started talking about the week and I was able
to think more than one day in advance.

I can say from a place of sincerity that I am so hopeful about the week ahead. 

So here is to a new adventure, with my daughter 
and the faithful others going to Oklahoma City
to meet hundreds of others with the same call in their hearts.

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