I don't judge

Yesterday I had a conversation with a colleague in ministry, with our children present with us.  As we tried to get our work done (while our kids were running around us) we got off topic, onto the topic of parenting.  And she said something so amazing, "I don't judge."

It seems that so many parents do judge.  We judge on whether or not a mom decides to breast feed or bottle feed her baby.  We judge a mom on her diaper choice (cloth or disposable).  We judge a parent based upon when solid food is introduced.  And that is all within the first six months of becoming a mom!  We judge one another on how and when a child is disciplined especially when we have little to no background on the child's development and how their week has been going.

We especially like to make the judgements when a parent has a child out in public, in an unfamiliar environment.

We like to judge.  But why?

Does it give us some satisfaction that we are doing a "better" job than someone else is?  Or that we have made the right choices?

As a pastor (who has kids) it was so refreshing to hear a mom say "I don't judge."  Because we have been in situations where we feel like we are under the microscope, as if a pastor has these amazing children or quite the opposite.

Yet we judge even when that really isn't our job.  We tend to judge much more than just our parenting, we tend to judge all of the choices people make.  And while we might think we don't judge, a lot of us do.

When we allow that judgement to seep into our congregations it erects walls rather than building bridges.

Exhausted parents (and please let me know if there are any other kind of parent out there) don't need judgement, they need grace and love and compassion and forgiveness.

Because honestly we are hard enough on ourselves for all of the times we couldn't keep it together and have lost our tempers.

God teaches us that judgement isn't ours, our job is to love one another, to offer grace and compassion to one another, as Christ would.


  1. I am so glad to find your blog! And you are absolutely right about parents needing grace and love and not judgement--

    I am in the 2nd day of helping with VBS and the children have been wonderful--enthusiastic, energetic, joyful, willing to share. But there have also been a few non parents who want things to go exactly by the book, with rigidity. These children will only be with us for a short time. let them be children, and celebrate them while they are young. Most everything in the world will wash off except negative judgements.


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